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Added 28 Sept 2019  well done Tigers who are 2019 premiers after a huge 89 point win!

Recent additions to the page. Penny’s got a job looking after two employment seekers.  The story will continue below with later additions at the bottom.

Added 15 May 2019

While minding the office here at longggey.com, I have just had another task landed upon me.  Mal Prop and his cousin Poppy Copp are both looking for employment.

My first interview with them:
Me: so what sort of job are you both looking at?
Mal: well, we want to apply for the type of job where a new position comes up on a regular basis…
Poppy: .. and where you don’t need fancy qualifications to be considered – no degrees, no cert 3 or cert 4 stuff; no courses…
Mal: …and good pay, too…with no intelligence test needed
Poppy: that’s especially important for Mal!
Me: so what job are you looking for?
Mal: Poppy and I want to be the Prime Ministers.  We’ve formed our own party.  With so many snakes in politics, we’ve created an un-snake-like party.  It’s called the Australian Sports Party, or ASP for short.
Me: but you cannot both be Prime Minister!
Poppy: we’ve solved that too. I’ll be Prime Minister first
Mal (interjecting): no, me!…
Poppy continues: and then Mal.  Mal and I have some bi-polar policies – you know, those we both agree upon.

Mal: first, all live sport has to be synchro-meshed. So the radio and TV and internet having it all at exactly the same time – down to a micro-second. Next, you can subscribe to pay TV and only get sport, without having to pay for other less important stuff.  And it won’t rain during sports games any more if we are elected.  Only between 3 and 6am. All scammers will be put in stocks in the city square.  “Bounces” on websites and phone will be banned – you know, when you go to click on one thing and then the advert pops up and you click on the wrong thing.
Now for the Mal only policies.  Mal just happens to be the name of the two most popular Prime Ministers ever in Australia.. shut up Poppy…first policy – no more exporting of coal {crowd wearing green and red shirts cheer}. We’re going to use it all up here instead of wind and solar {crowd wearing green and red shirts boo}.  Next, the average executive gets paid 50 times as much as an average person.  This is not right {crowd wearing green and red shirts cheer}.  I’ll get it up to over 100 times where it belongs {crowd wearing green and red shirts boo}. Next, big tax cuts {crowd wearing green and red shirts cheer}… for big business {crowd wearing green and red shirts boo}. Next, no immigration while I am PM {crowd wearing green and red shirts makes no sound – they have already left the area}. I’ll boost corporate profits by keeping the basic wage low. House prices will go up and up. The economy will going gang-busters and this will be good news for all the ultra-rich. Being a member of a union will be banned. I’ll lock up all those weirdo students and maybe a few who aren’t weirdo as well.  I’ll be the most unsympathetic PM ever. Then, when everyone has had enough of me and they feel like they need a change of government, they don’t!  Poppy will become Prime Minister.

Poppy: when I am PM, Australia will have the most expensive and unreliable power supply in the western world. I stand for free speech.  Free speech is when people agree with me.  When people disagree with me, that is an attack on free speech and these people will be guilty of a crime. Anyone with a phobia will be in the gun when I am PM. I’ll be against Homer Simpson-phobics, I slam dunk-a-phobics and Yarra Trams-phobics. Some people have accused me of being anti some mining and farming activities.  Incorrect! I am against ALL mining and farming activities.  They’ll all suffer when I am PM.  And don’t worry about high house prices. I’ll bring them crashing down with a thud – and the whole economy with it; I’ll fling upon the borders of Australia to let in all the persecuted people..and also those who persecute them will be able to come in as well.
Me: (thinking: they’ll be looking for other jobs next week) well, all the best with that.  You can both report in after the election