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Wrong Ron & Richmond 2

Wrong Ron (WR) returns to see Psycho Anna Liszt (PAL)

 

PAL:  Last time I asked you to think back to when these bad feelings first surfaced.  How did you go?

 

WR:  Well, I only got back as far as 2009.  That was such a disaster that I feel I need to talk about it.

 

PAL:  Go ahead.

 

WR:  It began a few years ago.  I was inspired by Alisa Camplin winning a gold medal in aerial skiing.  So I set about practicing as hard as I could.  Soon I realised I needed a coach.  So long before Australia signed an Olympic partnership agreement with Japan at the Vancouver Winter Games, I grabbed myself a Japanese coach.  His name was Mr Kumagutza.  He was a great coach and inspired me to have a go at the sport. 

 

By March 2009, I felt I was ready.  Things were looking up generally in my life.  The Tigers, ninth in 2008, had signed Ben Cousins and new members were coming from everywhere.  I was doing my aerial ski jump and then heading straight off to the footy for Round one Tigers vs the Blues.  What a great day it was going to be!

 

So up I went to do my first jump.  On the way there, we stopped at a seafood restaurant which boasted the best squid in Australia.  But when we got there, no squid left!  Squiddly diddly squat!  Missed out big time.  But off to the jump.  I stood at the top and told everyone that I was the destined to be the greatest aerial ski jumper the world had ever seen (this supreme confidence helped by Kevin Sheedy talking up flags for the Tigers in early 2009).  As such, there was no point doing just an ordinary jump.  I went for a triple somersault with 7 twists.  Mr Kumagutza, whose first name is Isiyu (pronounced “eye see you”) was a bit unsure of this choice.

 

Anyway, I nailed the take-off perfectly.  All was going well as I sailed through the air with the grace of a Swan – or perhaps a Tiger.  In fact, the only negative about the whole jump was the landing.  Arms and legs went everywhere.  I slid down the slope face first.  With cuts and bruises everywhere, I sadly packed up my gear.

 

But the day hadn’t finished.  I took Mr Kumagutza to the footy.  “Watch my premiership team with Benny Cousins,” I told him.

 

Well, as you know, we got thrashed by the Blues and Ben did his hammie in the final quarter when the game was already lost.  At that stage my coach turned to me to speak.

“I see you come a gutzer,” said Isiyu Kumagutza.

 

PAL:  What a disastrous day you had, Wrong Ron!

 

WR:  I know, Psycho Anna.  But I just had to tell someone about it.  What can you do to help me?

 

PAL:  It was so good for you to tell me all that.  That is part of your healing.  But we need to progress back to your earlier bad memories.  Let’s continue along that path next session.

 

WR:  Okay, see you soon.